I could hear her thoughts (person)
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Tue Feb 13 2001 at 5:22:33
She'd try to make excuses but I knew it was more than wondering what to have for dinner or looking at the sky.
You're lying, Alice.
Spill it. And she would. I always knew when something awful was chasing itself
round and round in her brain
; she was quiet about it but to me it was always an audible signal. It amazed her and worried me. It happened so often.
(I've seen movies, I should have known what was going to happen. The lovers who think they will always be lovers - they're the ones who earn the cruel ironic twists, that's how it happens. The other half of it is that they never see it coming. They are left
bruised and baffled
. I played it well, I took no convincing.)
I got smug. I knew she was troubled and I would offer
my hands, a backrub, a cup of tea, my shoulder, my lips, my silence
, whatever fit the moment. I thought that would answer it. But you know what happened. I became her bad thoughts. And I did not know it. I had gotten through one layer of mystery and I could not imagine she was hiding anything else. I will forgive myself many things but I can't get past the cruel error of thinking she was so shallow, so flat. I was not looking up;
she was flying, she was already so far away, she was gone.
I like it!
Performing her communion with quick slashes up and down her arm
My hands, a backrub, a cup of tea, my shoulder, my lips, my silence
Nobody chooses apples with bruises
I can hear your thoughts much too clearly
We had silent conversations
Blood on the sheets
It's all a blank, which makes me think something far far worse has actually happened
There's someone in my head but it's not me
gone stoic in silence: ash and smoke and the wide sunk mud-iron landscape of forever
How I fell in love with Alice
Overzealous "low battery" indicators
Silence is as full of words as all your books
As the band laughed, her finger traced his spine, and he folded into her
Dissociative identity disorder
A day without him is three years long
She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
about an Alice
To that cute little goth girl sitting in the pizza parlour
You wouldn't know it, but I think you're achingly beautiful
Screaming little bundles of independent thought
This Maasai Maiden
Climb up on the Moon? Of course we did.
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