A photograph turned face-down (person)
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Sun Jul 09 2000 at 3:10:19
Is it our legacy, as women, to each have one of these? Mine is not only face-down but
on the top shelf of my closet
, out of reach, out of danger. He gave it to me awkwardly, visibly feeling dumb about it. Who gives somebody a framed picture of themselves? It was my favorite of his headshots, and I'd admired the frame, so he made it mine.
I can't remember
, now, what he took out of the frame to make it into a present for me, but he did,
that for me, and
put it in my hands
I had to fight my way through clothes and boxes to get to it, but I knew exactly where it was. I'm struck again by
how handsome he was
when he was calm
. Here he is looking down and away, hair in his face,
glasses sliding down
. Like he didn't care the camera was on him, like
he didn't care who was looking
. That was when
I liked him best
, when it wasn't so tremendous that I wanted to look at him. Later, of course, his attention to my attention grew
enormous and complicated
, a trap for us both. He wasn't handsome to me anymore, not even interesting. I wonder if I could have kept us both in that stage, hovering in the time when we were
for each other, before either of us had to turn away.
I like it!
Some kiss with their eyes closed
It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
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Spreads beautiful to darkness
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you were a dream I painted and wished to own
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