A million stars and the sound of the ocean we couldn't see and he wanted to know what I thought about God. I was surprised that he was asking, more surprised to realize we'd never talked about it before. Five months, and we'd never talked about it, magically avoiding it without knowing we were avoiding it. We did that.

The stars make me calm I said.   Look, there's God.   I would have left it at that but he thought I was kidding. And he'd been to college and wanted to win an argument. I didn't say much; then I didn't say anything while he shredded what I'd said, repeated my words with invisible, mean quote marks around them. He laughed at me. His head was in my lap the whole time. I should have slapped him, should have dumped his heavy head in the sand, stolen his keys and run away. At the very least, I should have ended it.