"Why are you sad?", he asked in a very blunt, yet calm way.
He said it in the same way one would phrase, "Would you like a piece of gum?"."Why are you sad?"
, what kind of question is that. Is this like when someone askes say "How are you?
", and you are suppose to smile
and say "Fine
How frightening, does he really want to know?
Is he just trying to be polite, If I tell him, will he just think I am a headcase
I start to ramble a quick, lightheart
, yet truthful summary. Pausing so often to make light of my situation with a joke, it was painfully obvious I was frightened
. My heart is aching
. I can physically feel all the things I've kept burried starting to bubble
to the surface
.. With a quick jolt
, I bite my lip
, pause and I quickly shut them off. I ended my answer
with a nervous laugh, and a apologetic comment, that I meant to sound cheerful
. I am hoping that it might hide my feelings -- fright
, and vulnerability
. "Oh, but that is probably a much too detailed explaination to your simple question."
Then he did it. He made me shiver
with just words. "I want to get as detailed as you want."
-- Did he realize what he was saying at the time??!
I just half-laughed
, and told him to be careful what he said, or else he would get it. Just as he stated
his original question, he stated "I never say things I don't mean"
With that sinking feeling of fright
in my chest, a feeling of being verbally comforted
, and a feeling of anticipation over the chance to maybe shine a candle
on my ghosts
.. so scared
that if I let someone have the ability to see what was really going on.. without the sarcasm
, overly cheerfulness, or denial
of anything being wrong at all -- they will do something worse than hurting me with it.. that they will just walk away from me
So I told him why I was sad. Then we played Reversi