today was one of those days with immense highs and drastic lows..

i found out a few friends are going through some horrid times..
my heart goes out to them..

some words were exchanged with someone very dear to my heart..
they were like daggers.. but they had to be said

some words were exchanged with someone that has had me awestruck all day..
im so glad they were said

as i sit here.. i think about what needs to happen soon..
with my life.. it scares me.. but i have to take care of it..
i need to get things in order.. and kick and claw my way towards the goals i have set..
god it scares me to death.. but i need to do it not only for myself..
but so i can take better care of those i care about..

i thought about my goals and my future a lot today as i walked around..
it is the first day of "cool" weather down here in the tropics.. we reached a brisk 65 degrees..
tonite it will dip down into the 50's.. I really do love this type of weather..
its record-breaking for this time of year which is neet..
but will prolly only last a few days..

i found out who the flowers were from..
let me just say.. i was speechless..
well for me at least

there are a lot of people i need to get in touch with..
and explain things too.. i hope they understand.. its the least i can do..
explain that is.. i fear i may have burnt some bridges.. that makes me sad..
but hopefully they will at least understand why i did the things i did..

i dunno if i can do that this second though..
maybe i will wait a few days to collect myself more..

right now im in a daze..
a balmy, almost ambrosial scent from the orchids
mixes with the crisp, cool air.. that smell that comes in autumn ..
when you can almost taste the sharpness in the breeze..
my emotions are up, down and all around..
right now i don't want to take any action..
i just want to sit and take it all in..
the happy and the sad.. i want to remember this day for a long, long time..