Oi!@# I am going to Chicago for New Year's eve.. Pumpcon was .. wow.. I dunno.. amazing and heart crushing.. heart
crushing.. not in a romance way.. but.. a lot of facades that keep me sane.. were destroyed.. and amazing because I saw so many
good friends,old friends, new friends.. and people i dont like.. fist fights..drinking.. oi.. I was really upset earlier today.. at the
thought of having no one to smooch on new years eve.. i remember last year.. i'm lonely right now..i wont lie.. i miss the intimacy..
not the physical..but the emotional.. somepeople tell me im lucky because ive been so hurt.. but i still leave myself open..others tell
me i am foolish..and imleaving myself to play the fool.. null, sad, happy.. throwing myself into things just to keep me sane.. they all
always look better when you aren't standing in them.. so what to do.. grab a date.. someone who fits the bill for the moment.. or
wait for the person who truly touches my soul.. does that person exsist.. i think so.. all i really want is for someone to see me.. i
get to obvious.. i give 1/2 of it away.. and still.. people are always mmissing the obvious.. heh.. oi..