As I groove to the tunes of Liz Phair, I contemplate stupid shit. Like why I seem to never be satisfied, and why I seem to push away anything good, and when I don't have it.. I break my back striving for it.

I am unhappy with my life. My work situation, my family situation, my health. I have very little control over these things, due to circumstances beyond my control. I have a good relationship, and wonderful friends. Friends I never get to see, and a relationship with someone I care dearly for, but seem to be hurting for no reason.

He wants to know why I cry. So do I. He doesn't understand that if I knew why I was so upset, I would do something about it. The source is unknown.

I am dieting again. I suck.