Three guys are standing in line to get into heaven
... but apparently, heaven's getting really full today, so Saint Peter is under
strict orders to not let anyone in unless they've had a really terrible death.
St. Peter tells the first guy in line, "Hi, I'm really sorry, but I just can't
let you in unless you've had a bad death. So, what's your story?"
The first guy says, "Well, I've just been having a terrible day. I've been
suspecting that my wife's been cheating on me, so I come home early, to my
apartment on the tenth floor. And when I come in, I know I've caught her, I can
just feel it. But try as I might, I can't find the guy anywhere! I search
through the whole apartment but he's nowhere to be found. Finally, I come out to the
balcony, and he's there, he's hanging off the railings of the balcony! So I
start kicking him, stepping on his hands, but he's still hanging on! Finally, I
just go inside, get a hammer, and hit his hands until he falls. But when he falls,
he just hits a bunches of bushes, and he's still
alive! I get so angry, I run inside, I grab the refrigerator and I throw it at
him. I think it hits him, but all that stress and anger gets to me, and I die
then and there.
St. Peter thinks this is a pretty bad death, so he lets him in. The second guy in
line comes up to Peter and Peter tells him the same thing - heaven's getting full
and he can't let him in unless he's had a bad death.
The second guys says, "Man, my day's been really strange. You see, I live on
the eleventh floor of this apartment building, and every day I go out to my
balcony to stretch and do some exercises. I'm not exactly sure what happened,
but I think I slipped, and I fell off my balcony! Luckily, I was able to grab ahold of the
balcony's railings below me, and I'm holding on until somebody can save me.
Finally, the balcony's doors open and I think I've been saved! But man, the
guy who comes out just goes psycho on me! He starts kicking me and hitting me - eventually
he just goes inside and gets a hammer, so I just give up and let go. But after
falling ten stories, I hit some bushes, and I'm okay! Just as I'm getting up
and brushing myself off, this refrigerator comes out of the sky and lands
on me, killing me then and there.
St. Peter agrees that this is definitely a strange death, so he lets him
into heaven. Finally, the last guy comes up in line, and St. Peter tells him the same thing
he's told the other two guys, heaven's full and you need a good story to get in.
The last guy says, "Dude, picture this: I'm naked, sitting inside this