(idea) by jessicapierce Tue May 16 2000 at 14:06:53
- / +

  • Will Smith argued with his dad and ignored me while I squirmed in agony on the ground, worse than the worst pain I'd ever imagined. It was ok, though, because I only knew about the pain while it was happening.

  • I asked my son where he'd like to go for vacation and we decided on Mauricia. We only had fifteen minutes. I flashed him there first, ten feet above the river. He spun and flipped and laughed in the air. I dunked him in the water and he loved it. He liked being the kangaroo, and the jackrabbit, but the big camel-like thing was too much for him, too big to handle. I turned him back to himself because that was my favorite too. Thanks, Dad! he yelled.

  • In a bar, asking Who would like to go home with me? I took the man who had the most keys.

  • Going down the long way and on the way back the grass hill turned muddy, thin brown water running though the grass. It worried us, but we didn't know why.

  • Tom's oldest son wants to be a beer when he grows up.

  • Before church I helped her clean up the junk people had left behind in the pews. It never occurred to me that people might be as rude in a church as they are in a theater. Hymnals were not meant for the lazy, she said, picking up another one from the floor. I found a stack of Christmas cards addressed to people from the Bible. Crazy old lady had left them. I went through them, making sure the right card was in the right envelope, which was never the case. Most of them were actually for her family, and most included a "HI PETE!!!" on the back.

  • The man I took to dinner was embarrassed by my family and so was I - I didn't know any of these people, and they were terrible. The woman who was not my mother wanted to talk about facial hair's growth rate as opposed to pubic hair. My date said, "Well one thing's for sure, I will not be falling in love with YOU, Maureen." I was relieved to know that he wasn't really judging me, I wasn't who he thought, I was just in the wrong story.

    • I like it! 1 C!