- / +

  • Robin walking in front of me and suddenly her jeans went transparent and I could see her black lace thong. Even in the dream I had enough sense to be bothered by dreaming this about a child.

  • The house was filthy and I'd asked James please not to come over, but there he was, acting like nothing was wrong, if he could be loud and jumpy enough, nothing would have changed and he would be wanted there.

    It was my birthday and he had a lot of cool stuff for me, origami praying mantis, cobalt blue vase, dozens of odd flowers. He stood behind me and touched my shoulders and I slipped away.

    I went back to the living room to deal with the dishes but didn't have the energy. Bizz was there and I whispered angrily to her and now I have to pretend to like him again. Don't, she said. I know, I can't, I'm too tired, that's why I told him to stay away.

    Taylor Davidson was bored so I found her a handful of crayons. I stuck flower after flower into that beautiful blue vase and it still would not get filled up.

    My father was on the sunporch petting Jamcracker. I was sickened by my inability to be honest and make James leave.

  • Driving, the pizza got caught under my feet. Trying to make a left turn in an unfamiliar rainy night city with too many cops and not enough left turn arrows. I kept almost rear-ending the car in front of us. He told me shyly that next time, we should order extra garlic sauce spread over the whole pizza. I agreed and laughed, had been thinking the same thing. When we stopped the car I really looked at him, studying how handsome he was, so I would be able to remember him when I woke up.

  • At the council meeting datagirl pased me a note asking who I had a crush on. I wrote her a long letter about Malcolm and she was worried, said she thought he had a girlfriend already and was rumored to be a jerk in general. My heart sank a little because I knew she wasn't making it up.

    Later, walking back to my dorm I saw him and made up an excuse to talk. It occurred to me that there were two Malcolms, and I relaxed and took his arm. He smiled in surprise and we kept on; it started to rain.