(poetry) by jessicaj Sun Nov 19 2017 at 20:28:48
  1. This is a game, perhaps you've played
  2. it before. Naturally there are variations,
  3. this is how I was taught. It isn't strictly
  4. necessary that your opponent be tall,
  5. sexy, or charismatic; but I have standards.
  6. Maybe you will be able to look past 
  7. physical beauty to the pain beneath. At
  8. any rate we were friends for a while, 
  9. at one point he thought I wanted to
  10. be more than friends, that was untrue.

 

  1. I ignored him for a while and then I felt
  2. badly about that. I spoke to a mutual
  3. friend, apologized, I'm not sure what
  4. changed, or who. Maybe it was me. All of
  5. a sudden I felt differently about this person.
  6. I thought that things were going well and
  7. was shocked to discover we were not only
  8. on different pages, we weren't even in the
  9. same library. This was almost two months
  10. ago and we haven't spoken since.

 

  1. I've been through a lot of heartbreak in
  2. life, this was bad. I'm still stunned that 
  3. nobody asked me what was going on
  4. because I felt like I was melting down
  5. all over the place on a routine basis.
  6. I couldn't eat for almost two weeks, 
  7. a good night's sleep was out of the 
  8. question, and I won't even try and 
  9. describe the roller coaster moods
  10. and emotions that terrified me.

 

  1. I lost enough weight that I needed
  2. some new clothes. Of course I was
  3. worried that people would think
  4. there was something else behind it,
  5. I needn't have worried. Black was my
  6. new favorite color, it matched the
  7. warmth of my soul and the heat of
  8. my heart. There was a fleeting moment
  9. when I felt like giving up and giving in,
  10. then I thought, I'm better than this.

 

  1. I got my nails done, and my hair cut.
  2. He went home early one day after he
  3. told a friend of mine he was sad. It
  4. was something or other about a girl
  5. she thought, someone was playing 
  6. games with him, and for a vicious
  7. second or two I was pleased that 
  8. the gander was getting the same
  9. sauce that had scorched the goose. 
  10. Ultimately we were both badly burned. 

 

  1. It was easy to stay in my lane
  2. until the day he cut in front of
  3. me and the women in my group.
  4. I made a point of putting more
  5. distance between us hoping he
  6. would get the hint. One day I
  7. deliberately walked along the
  8. strip of flooring between us. I
  9. was in no hurry so I took my time,
  10. looked directly at him, and smiled.

 

  1. It was a relief of sorts when he
  2. gave me a half smile back. It's 
  3. surprisingly hard to refrain from
  4. smiling when someone catches 
  5. you off guard. He avoided me 
  6. the rest of the day, that hurt my
  7. pride. The other day I was working
  8. late, I rounded the corner, saw
  9. him unexpectedly, stopped abruptly,
  10. but chose to keep moving forward.

 

  1. I think he knew that I had chosen
  2. that particular route on purpose,
  3. my heart sank, but I kept walking,
  4. wishing I was anywhere else but
  5. in that narrow aisle. He was in the
  6. midst of a group of people, good I
  7. thought to myself, then he'll ignore 
  8. me. Instead of continuing the cold
  9. war he gave me a very small shy 
  10. smile that I returned.

 

  1. The score is even now. I got a 
  2. smile out of him and he received
  3. one from me. I don't begrudge him
  4. that and I'm glad he doesn't look
  5. like he rolled out of bed and came 
  6. straight to work although I wouldn't
  7. blame him if he's as depressed as 
  8. I believe he may be. I'll keep my distance
  9. he'll keep his, we'll go along as we have
  10. until one of us capitulates, and smiles. 
I like it!