Yesterday I went over to clean for a woman who has two very bad shoulders. I didn't want to go initially, but now I'm really glad that I did. My thought process was something along the lines of - I'm not cleaning my own house, why should I expend time and energy for to clean for someone else? But I went and learned that part of the reason I hate to clean is because I don't have anyone to talk to while I'm wiping down mirrors and vacuuming. When I was younger my mom would ask if I would talk to her while she worked. I often resisted, knowing I'd be dragged into whatever she was doing. I also felt guilty about just standing there when she was moving, now I know that my mom is a doer and I'm a thinker and we balance each other when we can both come toward the middle.
Change of subject - I have a lot on my mind so I'm going to jump around a lot. I've known a guy who lives out on the east coast for several years. I can't remember the date we met, but I remember the chain of events clearly. We were chatting about baseball, he's a former pitcher, we were talking about someone else and got into our own side conversation that led to our eventual friendship. I spent some time on the phone with him getting to know him better. That was after he read a blog post of mine that he said was groundbreaking. I didn't grow up with baseball like a lot of my other friends have, sometimes I long to have had those experiences earlier, on the other hand, having a fresher outsider perspective has really helped me at times.
More changes of subject - a friend referred me to a guy who edits and manages a blog. I was told I'd get paid for any thought provoking article that was at least two thousand words. They told me it wouldn't be a lot of money, but some money is frequently better than none so I told them I was interested. After that I really struggled. Churning out 2000 words on a subject I'm not super familiar with isn't the easiest thing. I felt like a lot of what I was writing was filler instead of actual content. I tried reaching out to the editor who brushed me off, I sent a couple of posts to my friend and when I didn't hear back on the last one I wrote him off. Not in the friendship sense, in the sense that I'm not going to waste my time or his. It's the right decision and I'm comfortable with it.
Back to the in the second paragraph who had asked me to write a guest blog post in the past. I had told him no in the past, but suddenly saw an advantage in writing for him. I asked if he was still looking for contributors and promised him a piece on a pitcher. I wrote what I had, was pretty pleased with it, but I like to let things sit for a while so I have time to reflect. I ended up going back and rewriting everything except for the first two paragraphs. I'm glad I did. What I had before wasn't bad, but what I have now I love. This time I sent it directly to the editor, I still haven't heard back from him, that's really annoying, but I know I'm an impatient person and I'm reminding myself that he has a wife and kids, a job, and my post is probably not his highest priority.
I'm reading a book called Why Women Have Sex, last night a lot of things came together for me. The post I wrote starts with footwear and goes in another direction I doubt the reader is anticipating. That's one of the reasons I'm pleased with what I have. A friend of mine and I were talking last night. I emailed what I had to him and he sent back a lot of positive feedback which I really appreciated since it's easy to start second guessing myself. Yesterday I wrote too much and didn't get outside at all. Today I woke up at a reasonable time, went for a walk, and decided I need to proactively set some limits for myself. Writing daylogs was part of what made me feel good about myself. Now that I've got a computer back there are no excuses. I didn't get to everything on my mind today, but tomorrow is another day.