Today I feel very good, better than I have felt in a very long time. I snapped at the girls yesterday, what normally happens is there's something going on that I feel powerless to stop or very frustrated by, but instead of doing anything constructive or active, I sit and stew about it until I can't take it anymore and then erupt or get really bitchy. I lost a couple of paragraphs when I accidentally shut the tab, but I'm moving forward regardless. Yesterday I picked up a bottle of minerals and the melatonin I like at the health food store. We went to see my new niece, I went for a walk before church, talked to a neighbor for a bit, and took my oldest daughter back to school, arriving just in the nick of time.
I'm excited to realize that I'm learning more about myself and seeing the small habits add up and become something larger than I had planned. It's really unbelievable that I was able to start crawling out of the pit I now call despair. There were days when I sat there and cried, I cried quite a bit yesterday, at church, on the way to my sister's, I didn't feel particularly said, I'm blaming it on hormones, but also realizing that something the body needs to excise the layers of indifference to expose the new raw person beneath. I told my therapist I feel like a puppy that needs to be socialized, only I'm 41 instead of several months old. My bipolar support group meets today. I'm less sure that this is what I have as the days go on, but I love the idea of being supportive and supporting so I'm looking forward to attending.