I wrote a big long thing and deleted it for several reasons. Someone tried to take advantage of me, I didn't realize that this person was as toxic as they really are, and I don't want to dwell on the fact that going in to work on my day off was a mistake. Days off are good for people. They are good for everyone, and they are especially good for people who work more than forty hours a week. I don't know how many hours I work in an average week, and I need to learn this information. I get a base salary, but it isn't enough to live on, and that's a problem too. The majority of the time I like my job, and I'm probably better at it than I think that I am. I tend to be hard on myself, and I'm going to stop doing that. Considering that I haven't been there two months, and I've already sold two vehicles, that's pretty good in my opinion, YMMV.

Today I let someone rattle my cage a bit, mainly because I did not have a good boundary in place. Going forward I will have a new policy. If you are ready to buy a vehicle, I will come in on my day off. I've learned to become more assertive and speak more directly to people at my new job, and this has helped me. It's not a secret that sales people sell things, so I should feel comfortable asking for the sale if someone wants me to come in on my day off. While I was at work I read a post about recognizing the need to live your values or something along those lines. My days offf are for me. Because I did not value myself highly enough, my day spiraled beyond my control until I finally packed up my things and bought some snack type things at the grocery store so my blood sugar did not fall further. It's okay to make mistakes, I forgive myself. I know that I can better love myself and make my own health, safety, and time a higher priority going forward.

I could write more, but I need to get some sleep so tomorrow is a much better and brighter day than today was. Overall I maintained a higher semblance of calm than I would have thought possible given the circumstances, and I'm proud of myself for that. Learning a new industry takes time, I can be more patient with myself, and I can use the lessons I learned today to avoid this type of thing in the future. It's never fun to feel as if someone played you. I put too high a value on someone else because I am a trusting person, but I also failed to realize that if someone tries to squeeze in a test drive once, they will do that to you again because they don't value anyone's time, not even their own. Chronic lateness is an issue, and their chaotic schedule is not my problem. It feels really good to be writing this. I'm happy I have a place to write things. Out of my head, away from my heart, let the healing begin.