Day nine: I didn't journal yesterday, and I'm okay with that. Last night I dreamt that I was in charge of a baby. When I woke up there were people over at my house including a man who showed up with four wooly lambs that ran into my home. I didn't have time to get ready for the party that was outside, there must have been thirty or forty people over. Some of them couldn't find the baseball fields at school so I had to describe where they were. When they were gone, I was left trying to keep kids away from the giant room sized copier that was suddenly in my backyard. The baby's mom arrived and took the baby away from me before I had a chance to change his diaper. The baby had told me he had a tumor on his head so his mom showed it to me and I woke up feeling very upset about the dream and the baby who reminds me of a young child I know in real life.

Objects: Bed, baby, guests, man, lambs, people, huge copier, mom.

I spend a lot of time in bed, and I really like my bedding so I would say that the bedding represented tranquility and a place of comfort for me. I am a mom in real life, and sometimes I think it would be really neat to have a son. I'm sure it would be. I'm done having kids, but the dream is reminding me that I'm a woman with reproductive potential, and the man on my doorstep with the lambs could represent unmet fertility even though I wasn't attracted to him or have sexual feelings about our encounter. I see the Wool book before I go to bed, maybe that subconsciously influenced my dream, and I was writing about two people who were discussing children before I went to bed, so that could be a factor as well. I think the people represent the diversity of personalities and interests I know and have in my real life. I'm always meeting new people, and I think this is confusing at times since I tend to become unfocused.

I'm good at many things, and if that many people did show up at my house for a party when I was wearing my pajamas, I would just roll with it so I think the people are a sign of how far I've come in terms of my ability to deal graciously with the unforeseen. The copier is a bit of a mystery to me. I believe that it represents technology, and I'm viewing it as hampering my interactions with others. I'm so focused on it, even though I can't move or use it, that it interferes with me being able to talk to and get to know my guests better.

What I think the dream means: There are things that I want out of my life that I'm working towards, and part of life is realizing that you can't have everything you want. I'd like to have better relationships with my children and learn more about what's important to them. The baby telling me had a tumor is analogous to my children telling me things that I didn't know that are very important to them, and I want to have a larger role in their lives and do more things with them. I went to my class again last night which was good, but that also meant I didn't get to see the girls during that time, and when I came back they were getting ready for bed, and I want them to have a better balance of mom and alone time. I'd also like us to work on being a more cohesive family unit. The dream sounds superficially strange, but I believe it was actually poignant, and revealing, and I'm glad I had it despite some of the feelings it left me with.