Hard to believe that 2019 is almost here. So much has happened over these past twelve months, I hardly know where to begin a recap. Today was pretty busy at work. A couple of the guys like sushi, my boss is celebrating a birthday in addition to his anniversary in December, and then there's Christmas in there as well. I thought we could do a trial run to see how things went, and do that for him on the big day. It went pretty well so that's probably a green light, but we were honestly so busy we really didn't have time to do much more than jam pieces in our mouths whenever we went in back. I was pretty frustrated with him earlier in the day when a woman who wanted to pretend she had a business tried to set up a corporate account. He knew it would take a while, and I'm not sure I would have ended up with the sale anyways, but that made me sad and angry to a certain extent.
Later on he tried to talk to me about it, he has a tendency to do that when he knows he did something that is riding the line. Fortunately I was checking my email at the time so I could pretend I was super focused on that. He told me I was acting sassy like his ex-girlfriend had whenever (insert point I lost), and I didn't care for that reference either. I'm choosing to release it because he has done a lot for me, and because I can be the bigger person, but it was hurtful and not fun at the time. I bought myself some present which was fun. I really want a pair of diamond earrings which is irrational, but what I want. It's so easy to spend on things that aren't really going to make a difference anyways. Tomorrow is my day off, I have off on Tuesday as well, and I'm super excited to finally bbest e getting a haircut. The best customer of my day was a Chinese software engineer turned commodities exporter. We discussed feng shui, population density, and email among other things.
Despite the many frustrations associated with working there, there is far more good than bad. I told one customer that the guy I was working with was like my punk kid brother, I can't even remember what he was doing at the time, but I don't have a problem saying things like that out loud for others to hear. One annoying woman asked if I hated him, he had to fix something that wasn't working for me, and I was so disgusted at her comment that I made a point of saying that I loved him and was grateful for all of his help loud enough for him and everyone else in the store to hear. I really do not like it when people use the word hate, even as a joke. There is too much of that in the world today. Last night I woke up at some unreal hour and couldn't fall back to sleep, but it wasn't as bad as the night I woke up for three hours in the middle of the night.
Eventually I fell back to sleep and had a dream about one of the guys at work. I had the impression of others at a party or gathering in what might have been an old factory or warehouse, but may have been another setting. I saw him reaching for a beverage that came in a glass bottle. I thought it was Coke, then it looked like beer, but when I drew closer I could see it was actually a bottle of ketchup. He lifted it up as if to drink it, he was being a smart ass, that's pretty typical behavior, and it should have been funny. Maybe it was, but before the first sip, the bottle exploded. A fine spray of blood covered everything, he was gone, but I had no idea what had happened to him. Off to my right were several long thin strips of fire burning, I don't remember being outside, so I'm not sure if the explosion knocked out the wall, or what. I've had bad dreams before, but that was really scary.
When I woke up it was so real I actually sent him a message in this group chat we have. I felt totally idiotic after I sent it, but it had been so real, and you never know if someone is going to be in a bad car accident or whatever. I expected, I don't really know what I expected. Everything from him laughing about it to telling my boss to complaining about the time of day it was sent, whatever I was imagining, it wasn't positive. He posted some promotions that were ending, and I was so grateful to see those. Then later on in the day he wrote that he had arrived at another location safe and sound. One of the other guys pretended he had done something more dangerous than drive to another store, but I was so relieved to see the selfie he posted. We only got half of his face so I teased him about that, but I had a feeling he had posted that so I could get some reassurance, and now that I think about it, that makes up for some of the other things that are disappointing.
All is better than it was before, but I am still very tired. Going to get a great night's sleep tonight for sure!
Xoxo,
J
P.S. I really need to get back to writing and painting although the cooking part has been good too.
j