Watching someone die from cancer is a horrible thing.

Especially if it is the person you love most.

My daddy has cancer- chronic lymphocytic leukemia, to be exact. We're really lucky because its not very bad yet- my dad is completely normal from the outside. Its only from the inside that you can tell that something is wrong- that his white blood cells are multiplying at an exponential rate.

He still has anywhere from two to twelve years left.

So we're trying to make the most of the years.

Its hard to watch him slow down. The constant bone aches, the "flare ups"- he's just not the same Daddy I used to know.

I wish we didn't know, because now there's the impending fear in the back of our minds... what if this is his last Passover? What if this was the last year we could go skiing? What if...

What if he dies in two years?