Fables from the Book of Yelps and Growls, translated circa 1795 by the count Florian von Banier (see nodes).

The Troubled Maid

A young maid was troubled by an infection just below her thigh. It was so debillitating that she could not finish her work. Her employer was threatening her with termination and all kinds of torturous chores. Just the other day he had forced her to appear in his dreams as an apple. This was no easy task and the maid had to sell her libido into slavery to the Dream Fulfiller in the village. He gave her a special pill and that night she appeared in her employers' dreams as an apple. Unfortunately, even as an apple she still had the infection and her employer was unable to eat her in the dream, for after only one bite he found her taste quite difficult to burden.

The infection was too much. It weighed on her soul like youthful sexual desire... she was swallowed, consumed within the infection. Each night her dreams were filled with phantom infections waiting in shadows pouncing at her just as she walked by. One of the dream infections was a giant pussy infection that yellowed her skin. Another was gangreen-like. Even another resembled a child more than an infection, but nonetheless within her dream it certainly assumed an infective character, parasitically settling itself in her belly.

In order to clear the infection she returned to the Dream Fulfiller, for he was also a Doctor in Medicines as appointed by the Royal Swedish Court, and though his license was not valid in this land, she still understood him to be a wise and intelligent man. The Dream Fulfiller examined her slowly, he fed her apples, he gave her accupuncture. Then, he gave her a soup of milk thistle broth, herbs, and boiled asparagus. She ate the soup quickly as her employer had not fed her in four days. The Dream Fulfiller then layed her to sleep. "So I can examine your dreams," he said.

When she awoke she felt refreshed, tremendous energy coarsed through her vital body. She was trembling with a raging river of desire. She wanted to kiss the Dream Fulfiller. But he backed away and looked out the window, holing his hands behind his back. "But Dream Fulfiller, I am cured of my infection. I am a beautiful girl. Will you not enjoy life with me?" And she ran over to him, again advancing towards his lips.

He pushed her away furiously. "Stupid maid. You are not cured, you are only worse! The infection has spread from your dreams into your waking life. Look at your legs, and not only them, but the rest of your body. There is no cure for this sickness. You must leave me now so as not to transmit the disease. I have notified your employer and he has left your belongings on the porch. You must go to the Black Forest and wait there for your death. Take this Bible. Read about Jacob and his Ladder."

The girl wept as she slowly shuffled towards the door, leaving it barely open behind her.