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The Comedy of Errors
Prev: The Comedy of Errors: Act 4, Scene 3
Next: The Comedy of Errors: Act 5, Scene 1
Act IV, Scene iv:
The same.
- [Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and an OFFICER.]
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day;
And will not lightly trust the messenger
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus;
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
- [Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS, with a rope's end.]
- Here comes my man: I think he brings the money.
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- But where's the money?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Five hundred ducats, villain, for rope?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I return'd.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
- [Beating him.]
- OFFICER:
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
- OFFICER:
- Good now, hold thy tongue.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Thou whoreson senseless villain!
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- I am an ass indeed; you may prove it by my long 'ears. I have
served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have
nothing at his hands for my service but blows: when I am cold he
heats me with beating; when I am warm he cools me with beating. I
am waked with it when I sleep; raised with it when I sit; driven
out of doors with it when I go from home; welcomed home with it
when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders as beggar wont her
brat; and I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it
from door to door.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
- [Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the COURTEZAN, with PINCH andothers.]
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or rather, the
prophesy, like the parrot, 'Beware the rope's-end.'
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Wilt thou still talk?
- [Beats him.]
- COURTEZAN:
- How say you now? is not your husband mad?
- ADRIANA:
- His incivility confirms no less.—
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.
- LUCIANA:
- Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
- COURTEZAN:
- Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!
- PINCH:
- Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
- PINCH:
- I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers,
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Peace, doting wizard, peace; I am not mad.
- ADRIANA:
- O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I denied to enter in my house?
- ADRIANA:
- O husband, God doth know you din'd at home,
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- I din'd at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Perdy, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- And did not she herself revile me there?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Certes, she did: the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- And did not I in rage depart from thence?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- In verity, you did;—my bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of his rage.
- ADRIANA:
- Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?
- PINCH:
- It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,
And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.
- ADRIANA:
- Alas! I sent you money to redeem you,
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Money by me! heart and goodwill you might,
But surely, master, not a rag of money.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Went'st not thou to her for purse of ducats?
- ADRIANA:
- He came to me, and I deliver'd it.
- LUCIANA:
- And I am witness with her that she did.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- God and the rope-maker, bear me witness
That I was sent for nothing but a rope!
- PINCH:
- Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
They must be bound, and laid in some dark room.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?—
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?
- ADRIANA:
- I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold;
But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.
- ADRIANA:
- Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
And art confederate with a damned pack,
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
That would behold in me this shameful sport.
- [PINCH and assistants bind ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and DROMIO OFEPHESUS.]
- ADRIANA:
- O, bind him, bind him; let him not come near me.
- PINCH:
- More company;—the fiend is strong within him.
- LUCIANA:
- Ah me, poor man! how pale and wan he looks!
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue?
- OFFICER:
- Masters, let him go:
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
- PINCH:
- Go, bind this man, for he is frantic too.
- ADRIANA:
- What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
- OFFICER:
- He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
The debt he owes will be requir'd of me.
- ADRIANA:
- I will discharge thee ere I go from thee;
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
Home to my house.—O most unhappy day!
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- O most unhappy strumpet!
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Master, I am here enter'd in bond for you.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS:
- Out on thee, villian! wherefore dost thou mad me?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master; cry, the
devil.—
- LUCIANA:
- God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
- ADRIANA:
- Go bear him hence.—Sister, go you with me.—
- [Exeunt PINCH and Assistants, with ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS andDROMIO OF EPHESUS.]
- Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?
- OFFICER:
- One Angelo, a goldsmith; do you know him?
- ADRIANA:
- I know the man: what is the sum he owes?
- OFFICER:
- Two hundred ducats.
- ADRIANA:
- Say, how grows it due?
- OFFICER:
- Due for a chain your husband had of him.
- ADRIANA:
- He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
- COURTEZAN:
- When as your husband, all in rage, to-day
Came to my house, and took away my ring,—
The ring I saw upon his finger now,—
Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
- ADRIANA:
- It may be so, but I did never see it:
Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is,
I long to know the truth hereof at large.
- [Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, with his rapier drawn, and DROMIOOF SYRACUSE.]
- LUCIANA:
- God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.
- ADRIANA:
- And come with naked swords: let's call more help,
To have them bound again.
- OFFICER:
- Away, they'll kill us.
- [Exeunt OFFICER, ADRIANA, and LUCIANA.]
- ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE:
- I see these witches are afraid of swords.
- DROMIO OF SYRACUSE:
- She that would be your wife now ran from you.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE:
- Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
- DROMIO OF SYRACUSE:
- Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us no harm; you
saw they speak us fair, give us gold; methinks they are such a
gentle nation that, but for the mountain of mad flesh that claims
marriage of me, could find in my heart to stay here still and
turn witch.
- ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE:
- I will not stay to-night for all the town;
Therefore away to get our stuff aboard.
- [Exeunt.]
The Comedy of Errors
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