I am always saddled with one or two toxic people who are, for some reason attracted to me for friendship. Perhaps it's because I'm a very giving, supportive person, to the point of fault. I very often sacrifice my own happiness, health, wellbeing...whathaveyou to please the people around me. (Yes, I'm in therapy for it). But it gets to the point where I'm nauseated at the thought of encountering them. I have to walk on eggshells around them, careful of every word, picking comments like strange produce, making sure that I don't unknowingly set off or offend my 'friends' which will result in beratement or crying or the silent treatment or sniping behind my back.

Luckily, last year I cut off relations with one of my toxic girls, telling her simply that she was making me 'unhappy'. She of course wept and apologized and promised not to be mean anymore. And I said, "too bad". It felt good actually.

Today, I had a 'friend' of mine, who is bipolar, depressed and a bit prone to rage call me a bitch and say "still whining about that baby you can't seem to have?" Then, she had another friend of hers email me and ask "why are you so mean to her? You know she has depression." And that was the last straw. She's out. I HAVE DEPRESSION AS WELL. I don't use that depression and the medication and the therapy as an excuse to be rude and cruel to people. I don't use my depression for sympathy or a free pass to be an asshole to people. DON'T PLAY THE DEPRESSION CARD with someone who has the same fucking thing. YOU ARE OUT OF THE FRIEND GROUP.

I won't really tell her she's out, because she'd revel in that rejection and tell everyone what a horrible person she must be to have me reject her. I'm just going to be cordial, and quiet, and not let her get to me. I'm thirty years old now, and I don't need this eighth grade bullshit.