I feel stupid to be a Chicago Cubs fan today. While the world crumbles around us, the top story on all stations and papers is how we, tonight, are going to be privy to a televised execution. Tonight, at Harry Caray's Restaurant, the foul ball deflected by Steve Bartman will be destroyed by a special effects expert.

That's funny, I guess, and cute. Until I realized that this lifeless,leather baseball was treated to a MASSAGE last night, a hotel suite and a last meal of lobster and steak after being granted a last tour of historic Wrigley Field. Watching this news story, I've never experienced a greater What The Fuck moment in all of my life. And the seriousness with which people take this Billy Goat Curse is bordering on bizarre. Baseball is a game of many superstitions, individual and team alike, but please people, let's get a hold of ourselves!

For my part, all of this brouhaha about Steve Bartman is an insult to the talent of the Florida Marlins as well as stupid scapegoat for the lousy play the Cubs exhibited in game 5,6 and 7 of the 2003 National League Championship Series.

So on behalf of all sensible Cubs fans, I'd like to say, I apologize for all of this insanity.