S'more (thing)

To make a smore you will need a number of supplies:

1. Graham Crackers
2. Large marshmallows
3. Chocolate
4. A large supply of milk (glass optional)
5. A source of heat

Conventionally, smores are made around a campfire. A marshmallow is heated until desired viscosity is attained. The marshmallow is then placed between two graham crackers along with a piece of chocolate. The heat from the marshmallow melts the chocolate, and bliss ensues.

However, if a campfire is not close at hand, don't despair! Believe it or not, you can find many sources of heat right in your very own home! Examples include:

1. Toasters
2. Microwaves
3. Ovens or Stoves
4. Computer CPUs
5. Lighters
6. A magnifying glass and your nearby star of choice

I don't recommend #4, and 5-6 could take awhile. Not to mention that #6 won't work on a cloudy day. However, I've had success with #1 and #2. If you use a toaster, you'll need something pointy and long to hold the marshmallow over the heat. I prefer chopsticks. The nice thing about chopsticks is that they usually come in pairs, so you can do this little trick:

1. Place one chopstick lengthwise across the toaster
2. Stick a marshmallow on the end of the other chopstick
3. Place the marshmallowed chopstick on top of and perpendicular to the other, using your knowledge of the laws of physics to keep everything in balance
4. Carefully push down on the lever to activate the toaster.

Note, however, there is a grave danger involved here. When the toaster thinks its done, the lever will pop up vigorously, and this will almost certainly cause the marshmallow to fall into the toast-hole. It's not fun to rid the toaster's innards of marshmallow goo. Also, because of the directional nature of the heat, the bottom of the marshmallow will become nice and crispy while the top will remain unaffected. For an even distribution, try to rotate the marshmallow ocassionaly, which isn't always as easy as it sounds.

Once the marshmallow has absorbed an adequate amount of heat energy, it's time to introduce it to Mr. Chocolate and Mr. Graham:

1. Take a sheet of graham cracker and break it in half. You will be left with two square-shaped portions of graham cracker
2. Place a piece of chocolate approximately 1/4 the size of the graham cracker on the bottom sheet
3. Cover the chocolate with the marshmallow
4. Place the other half-sheet of graham cracker on top and squeeze together until the marshmallow is not quite trying to escape from the edges.

Congratulations! You have created a smore! Of course, the toaster doesn't heat quite as thoroughly as a campfire, so your chocolate may not melt completely. In this case, you may need to summon the assistance of a microwave. Or you could have just used the microwave in the first place (my preferred method):

1. Break a graham cracker sheet into two square-shaped halves
2. Refrain from eating the graham cracker as-is. If you do not complete this step successfully, return to Step 1.
3. Place a piece of chocolate on one of the graham cracker halves
4. Heat in the microwave for approximately 15 seconds or until chocolate is soft
5. Place a marshmallow on top of the chocolate, using the stickiness of the chocolate to hold the marshmallow in place if necessary
6. Heat again for about 5 seconds, or until the marshmallow begins to fall off
7. Place the other graham cracker sheet on top and squeeze until your smore is approximately 1 cm thick. Heat for 5 more seconds if necessary.

You now have a smore that probably took far less time than the toaster version! Of course, you miss out on the burnt, crisp outside if you're into that sort of thing. But you get the fun of watching a marshmallow grow to an incredible size in the microwave. For extra credit, you can try this with just the marshmallow by itself. But before you do that..., you should enjoy your smore!

Eating a smore can be very tricky, because you have a very soft, fluid layer sandwiched between two hard, outer layers. When you try to take a bite, the marshmallow/chocolate combo will either flow to a part of the smore that is experiencing less compressive pressure or, more likely, onto your pants. Holding the smore in an upright position with your head tilted back can somewhat alleviate this situation. However, a cleaner method is to first break off a chunk of the top graham cracker with your teeth, then break off a corresponding chunk from the bottom. The two graham cracker chunks can then be easily removed and enjoyed with their marshmallow/chocolate filling. Unfortunately, after the first bite, you rarely have this kind of patience and devour the remaining bits as quickly and carelessly as possible.

Once finished, now comes the most important part. Make sure you have your milk close at hand. Now, savor the flavor in your mouth... count to three slowly, and drink! Tension... tension... release!. Aaahhhhhhh!

Repeat until morbidly obese.