I'm getting worn out. I just went for drinks with D and his friends. We finally made up and decided to not apologize, worry or try to work it out. Our friendship took a huge blow, and it is so much easier not to face the major issues right now. I know not everyone will understand this.

Drinking was fun, but there was this new guy there who ruined all of the insightful conversations the three of us usually have. D also let it slip that he thought it was fun when I loudly sing christmas carols while he is driving. It seems like everything is going to be okay.

Had a great weekend with Ben. Things are great between us right now. The Japanese test was a hell of a lot harder than I anticipated. It started at 9:45 and ended at 1:30. There was a listening part where we all heard to a tape and answered questions. To test the tape they had a female Japanese voice repeating at least 10 times in that manic, hyper-clear way that can only happen when learning a language:

"It is a nice day, let's go for a walk"

Right then, it felt like everyone wanted to screw the test and go for a walk. In front of me, there was a nine-year-old Japanese boy who finished the grammar part effortlessly but was scratching his head a lot in the reading. I was just the opposite. I just realized now that my Japanese grammar sucks.

I did a presentation today. Relaying information to people like that is exhilerating. I felt so sick and could not eat all day, but when I spoke, it flowed.

I am going to sleep now. I haven't slept a full night in a long, long time.