I slipped out of his hotel room to get us coffee and tea and called my sister from my cell. I had to tell her a lie about where I was the night before. She can’t know that I am with a married man. It hurts to lie to her. I came back to the hotel room - we drank, read the paper and touched each other gently. It was fun. Then he dropped me off at swimming and we talked in the car sweetly before I jumped out. He really is a kind man. We thought about meeting again that night – but figured it would be better to just do our own things instead. School, work, exercise... things like that.
I went to yoga. The instructor said that it is best to push your body as far as possible – but it is also important to understand your limits. I can feel the great weight of limits pushing hard against me lately. I want to push beyond so badly but somehow I can’t find the energy. But that will change. As for the rest of the day - I read half of a book in the sun and I talked to him for a few hours through Skype.
I got in to work at 8:30. The girls came in at 9:00. I’m tired. I hate being pushed around. I hate limits. I have to push against everything – even if I feel tired. I have to remember that it won’t be this way forever. I have to remember that I am the only one who can change my situation.