A year ago, I sat here biting my nails and consulting these writeups. I live in Nashville, and the guy I love had just moved to Los Angeles. I was hoping that e2 could provide a magical
crystal ball/
heartache numbing
ointment/
miracle. I paid close attention to everything here, and
following other noders' advice really helped us. We've stayed
together and stayed
strong for a little more than a
year now. In that time, I've realized some things that aren't included here:
1. Matt and I had been apart for almost a year, and then we spent out three-month summer vacation together. After being apart for so long, living together again requires some adjusting. We'd lived apart for so long that we'd almost forgotten that face-to-face relationships require things like compromise, dealing with someone else's problems, and looking at someone else's messes. During this period, be understanding, be affectionate, talk things out, and maintain a sense of humor. Remember, this is the person you love, and you're not perfect either. After a week or two, you'll get your pre-long-distance vibe back. And it'll be even better than before.
2. Don't bother getting into a long-distance relationship unless you're so serious about the person that you're willing to relocate for them. Unless you want to be long-distance forever, someone's going to have to move. This goes for BOTH people, because if you're not equally serious about each other, it's not going to work.
3. Expect your social life to change. I didn't see this one coming at all, and it was probably the hardest thing for me to deal with. Hanging out with your single friends and going bar hopping just doesn't feel right when you're not looking for love. Hanging out with your paired-up friends is a little better, because they are usually more sympathetic when you start to talk about long-distance woes. But being around other couples can be depressing.
If your social life does change for the worse, don't take it out on your beloved. Remember, he or she is going through the same thing.