I am sitting here at one of the lame ass internet cafe's in Dublin on a Saturday night working a double shift. It fucking sucks. Well not really. I suppose, there are worse things in life.
For example, I could be a twelve year old child working in some run-down sweatshop in Indonesia. I could be a junkie living on the street, begging for money, desiring nothing but my next fix.
Sometimes I wonder how the world managed to turn out like this because it doesn't make sense to me most of the time. Millions of individuals running around, day in and day out, over and over again, repeating the same routines, endlessly. The cycle continues until one day, you realize that the majority of your life has been spent chasing someone else's dream, the victim of illusions, and pathetic and unoriginal desires.
I think Albert Camus touched on this idea at one point, as many other philosophers and the like have. Of course none of what I have just said is anything new. Nothing anyone really says is exactly new if you think about it, unless they are talking about a specific experience, but even then, most likely the sensation has been felt by someone at some other point in the long-ass history of human existence. I guess my point is that I feel most people miss out on authentic experiences. The presently predominant culture of the West that has been completely destroying individual societies and cultures for the past 400 years or so, if not longer, has become too powerful in my eyes. Capitalism is a vile, disgusting, virus that has contaminated almost the entire wold with its poisonous venom. People have become seriously fucked up because of the effects it has had on culture.
But this is turning into more than I wanted it to be. Today I woke up and I didn't want to leave my house, hell I didn't want to leave my room, my bed! This thought scared me. It is not very often that I feel overwhelmed and overpowered by the system which I feel currently exists in terms of how our society works. Yes, the society I live in is not the same as everyone's, and not everyone looks at the world in the same way, but i just think it should be noted that to a good majority of people, the system is fucked. People's lives bought and sold at the Gap, at Walmart, hell even at Tesco here in Ireland. I struggle with this shit everyday, and no I am not looking for sympathy, I just wish that more people were aware and actually cared about what goes on in the world.