Ok, so I know I am submitting this almost a week later, but it was special day...what can one do.
Sundays at the call shop on Aungier street in Dublin are pretty mellow. Unfortunately sometimes I get to work a little late, or I get there on time, but smoke a little hash and then obsessively clean the store.
Then I am ready to open.
I don't feel too bad about it though because it usually stays quiet until around half twelve
except for that random customer that never gets through and leaves almost as quick as they busted through the door.
Sometimes there will be a sudden rush of people right after I open that door and it never fails to freak me out. I haven't even had a full cup of coffee and I'm stoned like only a classic wake and bake will get you, and it's just crazy.
Anyway, today is probably the best Sunday I've had in a while. I don't know if it's the weather or what, but I've been feeling a little bit better about things lately. I am trying not to hold all the weight of the world's problems on my shoulders because I know that it's not my fault and that I do what I can to oppose it.
And I know that a lot of my present state of happiness is partly an illusion,
just like I know exactly what's hiding behind it, waiting to break through and resurface.
But I am ok with that and I know that everything I experience flows in and out, like the tide.
But this is life.
And I think today , today I am beginning to accept it. Accept that I will never be truly happy or content, even if I think I am.
But fuck this shit today.
Today is a good day.