Goodbye. I was trapped in a vacuum

the solid-blank core of your frozen eyes; lukewarm, I have heaved the saline

And her never-not-forever-warm embrace

every day, to emote oft adrift; counter-actions feigned

My basement corner, half-light till dawn; blinking cursor

a kiss on the forehead, and one on the neck

One for the cat, nestled between the ankles on my ottoman

catch an afternoon fix, and another... no horizon to your depths; some penultimate ethereal death

Vibrating awake with the pang of the faucet handle underneath my left eye, every pore on my face expelling oils. As if an an entire layer.

and I laid down, waiting for the end

She had broken a necklace two days before; my first "real" gift.  Bought it on my lunch break, at Zales; it was Christmas 2002 and just a tiny diamond

with tears in her eyes, and mine barely open

"Oh my God! I was so afraid you were going to find out and be mad! But you fixed it," she strattled me. Traces of mascara ran in a line down her rosy cheek

"... but I didn't... know..."

"I don't understand"

her eyes never caught mine the same, ever again

Like living with a stranger

if you want to stay -  pretend she doesn't exist

All alone now, and for so long since

you liar

I've thrown myself at, down and upon the gates... begging...

my shadows

So fast, now closing-in... I could yet, or am I gone?

to be, and quietly cage myself in for the night; images flicker and you, dying; laughing, marveling at your creation

Coming, I Am.