Blonde Moments Happen

A blonde moment happens when you least expect it, and sometimes even if you are not blonde. I am frighteningly close to being blonde (naturally, even) and enjoy the fact that on occasion I can get away with doing something amazingly stupid by writing it off as a blonde moment. Here are a few blonde moments that I have had recently:

Booking my tickets home for Christmas backwards

Refer to the December 4, 2000 node by heinous for the full story on that one.

Locking myself out of places

Living places:

On the night of my "last night of illegal drinking before I turn 21" party, I got really drunk, of course. I managed to completely forget that I left keys to the apartment a couple blocks down the street at work. I stumbled home late at night, and realized this once I tried to open the front door to the apartment building that I was living in at the time. It would not open, mainly because I had no keys to it, and it would have been a bad idea to kick it in or something. I went around the back because I rarely remembered to lock the back patio doors, given that I was raised in a place called Indiana where locking the door is not necessarily a high priority for most people. I climed over the balcony, and kissed the concrete surface on the other side. That's right, I slipped as I was falling and landed chin first on the concrete. I messed up my shoulder pretty badly as well. Then I proceded to be very upset that slamming my body against the glass door did not loosen the lock. (I was very drunk.) The patio door was firmly locked. I even broke into my neighbor's apartment (their patio door was not locked) and tiptoed through their living room, and out their front door in hopes that maybe my front door was not locked. Luckily they didn't hear me, and no one tried to shoot me. My front door was not open either. I ended up having to hike all the way back to the bus stop to go back to Oakland and get my keys.

I think I must have scared the bus driver. I probably looked a bit strange, all banged up and scraped, obviously drunk, and sporting two overly cute pigtails on top of my head. I finally got to Oakland. Luckily, I did have keys to the office. I got my keys, and took a cab home. On top of all this, some of my friends had come up from LA to see me on my Birthday, and I missed their call while I was trying to break into my apartment.


Inevidabally, I lock keys inside of cars. This is cause mostly by the fact that I have only owned one car in my entire life that was possible to lock, and even that one had locks that were easily picked with a coat hanger. Thus, I mostly lock other people's keys into other people's cars.

Once I forgot how to spell the word "was"

I was writing a paper frantically before some literature class. I wrote a sentance that included the word "was". I looked down at the paper and it somehow didn't look like it was spelled correctly. I panicked. I thought really hard. I simply could not remember how to spell the word "was". I thought of a couple possibilities: wus, wuz, waz, etc. Nothing looked right. I finally frantically flipped through a text book until I found an instance of the word "was" spelled correctly.

Getting confused and driving the wrong way on the freeway

I do this a lot. A good example was the time I rented a moving truck in Berkeley. I then had to go to South San Francisco. I went the wrong way on the freeway, and ended up having to cross the bridge from Richmond. It was a very scenic drive from Marin, over the Golden Gate Bridge, and down 101 South all the way through the City, and then to South San Francisco in a 15 foot moving truck.

Forgetting important things

Recently, I was going on one of my usual trips down to the Apple Compatability Labs in Cupertino. I dragged 2 developers and a support guy with me. We got all the way from Oakland to Union City, and then I remembered that I completely forgot to bring any software to test, whatsoever. We had to drive all the way back to Oakland and pick up the software. On the way back, someone mentioned that it might be faster, instead of taking the usual route, (which involves taking a horribal, congested freeway called 880 South, to San Jose, and looping back up on 280 North) that we cross the Bay Bridge and take 280 South all the way, as traffic on the bridge was probably not so bad then. Of course, after being made fun of a great deal by everyone in the office while picking up 3 new boxes of the PPC distribution, I forgot to take the route we had just talked about. I did not remember this until I was down by Oakland Airport and thick in traffic again. I turned around, yet again, went across the bridge, and then we were on our way. When we got to Cupertino, there was no exit for De Anza BLVD coming from our direction on 280. I had to drive randomally around in Cupertino until we found it. I then proceded to go precisely the wrong direction on De Anza until we were not in Cupertino anymore. This helped me to determine that the current direction was definately not the correct one, so I found Apple by going the other way. This would all make more sense if I had not been there so often lately, but I should know better.


I am sure that I will be able to add more to this list in the near future, but for now I think I have encluded enough blonde moment examples for me.