"Hey man, how's it going?" was the question.
And the answer I wanted to give ("Not a lot man, just another 24 hours of howling existential terror.") was inappropriate to say the least. So, I put on my best carefree grin and jazzed with him like we were just a couple of dudes walking opposite directions on a San Diego boardwalk.
"Chillin man, just chillin."
Flipflops to ward off trench foot, and sand in every crevice, and I was so sincere for that brief moment that I'd almost convinced myself.
Here it is, Valentine's Day, and I just can't bring myself to bitch about it. No, I don't feel lonely, so I won't bitch about that. And I won't bitch about bitching about being lonely. And I won't bitch about bitching about bitching about - - - - - and so on and so on, down the Valentine's Angst rabbithole.
No, in fact it registered as a kind of dull surprise when I was reminded this morning that today was, in fact, Valentine's Day. A guy I work with, polite and humble, whose only references to American culture are what he gets from us and from pirated Indian television, asked whether or not it would be appropriate for him to wish me a happy one. After I explained to him which kind of love Valentine's Day is supposed to be about, he looked upset for a moment and then relieved.
"It's a good thing I forgot the chocolate bar that I was going to give you, then."
No, what's been clubbing me into submission lately is the particular feeling that one gets when dealing with a young person who refuses to reach their full potential - times an entire nation.
My job is essentially to blow on the few bright sparks that I can gather in the hopes that they can sustain themselves when the USA finally gets tired of maintaining their current thin veneer of shit-givings in central Asia.
I learned long ago that being polite and politically correct just don't make for a realistic picture of the world. And furthermore, without a realistic picture to start from, your plans end up being complete shit.
So let's be real: The culture here is one of soul crushing laziness, un-tameable atavism, and a hyperfocus on short term benefit to the exclusion of all else.
I've seen buildings torn down piece by piece over the course of a winter, for firewood, because the almost-completed building was closer than the woodpile. And then come spring when the generator was due to be installed, there was nowhere to put it.
I've taught electrical safety classes and had students pass with flying colors, demonstrating not just rote memorization but a grasp of the concepts on a theoretical level, able to complete hands-on exercises with zero corrections; and two days later when I visit a worksite, we're back to bare leads and splayed cable and split lamp wire tied with square knots into circuit boxes jumped open with scrap metal replacement fuses.
My job is essentially to turn perpetual teenagers with the literal education level of Neanderthals into technologically self sufficient, strategically planning, modern governance-minded human beings.
Do you want to hear something funny?
The "engineer" in charge of siting a prototype sewage treatment facility here wipes his ass with his hands and thinks soap will make him sick if he uses it to wash with.