Oh, Willie, most beloved of ground hogs.. they made a fortune off of you when you were alive, and even more upon your death. How many creatures, people, would be plastered across the front page of hundreds of newspapers whilst nestled in your coffin? How infinitely disturbing was it that you got more, or at least as much attention as the e. coli outbreak in Walkerton, Ontario?

Oh, the board games, the statue, the souvenirs the mindless people having parades in your honour.. I bet you would have preferred to be out romping in a field somewhere, hm? How did it feel to be the major source of revenue for a lame leetle town in the middle of no where? Oh wait, you probably had no clue what was going on, after all I'm pretty sure there aren't many ground hogs who would choose a life of captivity over freedom. (Not to say they ever treated you badly, though I couldn't be sure..)

I hear the replacement(s) are awfully bite'y. Odd, hm? I guess it takes a while to break their spirits.

Oh well.. rest in peace, little willie, lord knows you didn't get much of it while you were alive.