you'd be back shortly you would never come back, if the choice were given to you, i would be waiting, anxious and missing your presence, the way you warmed a cold room i hated you so deeply then. you would kiss my dry lips every morning as you left for work not once did i return your kiss, smiles as the door closed and i would slide slowly to the floor, my back pressed to a comforting wall, i held myself those times.

every day faded into the next it was not the way things were supposed to be and every time you whispered your love for me in the night i would run my fingers along your arm as if to say it mattered anymore. that was all you needed, you said, and i knew that it was true, all you needed were the lies. you loved them.