i made it a point not to rent any that were sad, or, i thought i might try to, but in the end it was just the movies i'd wanted to see for a while. wanted to slip out of reality for a bit but.. it thrust me back in, moreso than i have been for quite some time. realized that.. it isn't romance or tears, or anything specific that makes me want to be close to you, share words.. it's the feeling, the feelings you give me and above that, the intensity. there is no one thing that will draw my mind back to you, it is everything. there isn't anything that would pull my thoughts from you short of nothingness, but even that will force eyes to shift, mind to drift and.. back to you, and how i can never feel that nothingness with you in my life, even when i know it is there.

somehow, i managed to stay up 'til 4am. also, with no effort put forth, sleep just didn't come for me. kind of peculiar how such stuff happens.. i just miss you a lot. i decided to wash the dishes before i ventured off to dreamland, not sure exactly why, normally i'd brush it off and let someone else handle it. is this what motivation feels like? regardless, it's done. my fingers are water soaked, my eyes are tired and my body is suggesting i partake in some sleeping activity, and i'm inclined to think that i should not resist. no, it is true, i should not, and so, it is with a head full of optimistic thought'y matter that i wander off to dream.. hopefully, of you.