i am currently wearing contact lenses for the first time ever.. well, i have had them in since yesterday. this is my mediocre news. it is kind of neat to have that whole field of view.. but i can not afford to wear contacts all the time, i'll be getting new glasses at some point this coming week. do you take it for granted that you can see in most any direction, clearly? of course, i am accustomed to straight forward clear vision.. it is not as if it is even remotely inconvenient for me to wear glasses. i am thinking a nap is in order shortly..

i guess i just needed to let some float'y text out of my head, i probably don't really feel so strongly any of the things i wrote below, at least not anymore. they seem so much less after they fall out of my head. i am not so sad or lost, things are really not horrible just off right now. there will be time for swirling earth and universe to settle, things will come together in time. i know this.

crawling inside of myself, just a little deeper, the light that brought me in falls away in paths left behind. time hasn't seemed to creep on like it had been, not since last saturday and crumbling world matter. little bits of universe to cling to here and there, keeping me up when there seems only to be down. i don't like to feel so far away.

i think, i just wanted your arms so badly last night.
i needed your words.
i am not grumbly.. just feeling a bit alone..
i just miss you.

sleep lack of it is more weight, of the crushing sort, dreamland just seems to be another place that i can not exist without issue.

i suspect ears will tire of me, if they have not already. i assume that most would tell me i should draw on the positives, i just can't seem to find very many right now.

it could always be worse
(that is what i am afraid of)