just the light in the corner, sometimes i'll sit here for hours just staring. i know this is not something unique to me.

i'll never really say what i am thinking because the truth is no one really wants to know. no one ever really wants to know what anyone else is actually thinking. and - if they do - it is short lived. it is just a way for them to lead into a discussion of their own thoughts because after all, we are only human.

sometimes the smallness of everything that we are is so penetrating.

art gallery, driving, food, here again. i am a wanderer. every wall like bars - like a cage and an excuse to stop fighting for the right to slip outside for more than a short period of time. there are clinical terms for this, i will simply call it scared. after all, that's really all it is, isn't it? everything is a matter of how scared are you, really?

it's not that i think anything i might say won't simply slip through my mind, anyone's in half a second or less.

and then, this is for you.. because if you aren't existing for yourself, you'd might as well exist for others until it feels like there is reason again. you are so many things i've always wanted to be but could never quite handle or wrap my head around. it used to be jealousy, the feelings i'd have for people who i saw this way, now it is more admiration than anything.

i don't have a lot - but i'd like to have less. lately just this longing for nothing and empty space. an empty room and a small box and a pad of paper and a small lamp in the corner. a pen. there is just so nothing that anyone needs.. so nothing at all. a blanket and some seeds and water. mostly, you can live with anything you have, whether it be very little or far more than you deserve. i guess all you really need is an appreciation of life. people with more money than you.. most of them will give it to you freely if you can stand in front of them and show them that you are alive.