These last few days, this past week, well it's been confusing, strange and utterly exhausting both mentally and physically. Intensely emotional if not somewhere along the lines of puzzling.

My father has been taking some of his stress out on me, I suppose, in the form of angry words spoken in an agitated, almost loud voice and sent in my direction. I've never taken well to such stuff from him because it happens very rarely, thus making it rather potent when it does. Well, this would be the reasoning behind my lack of sleep, especially these past two days. It's no longer acceptable for me to be up late and then sleep away the hectic, disgruntled morning of my household. I've many problems with wandering into dreamland at a sane hour, so I've been rising with the sun after very little sleep.. this isn't quite the best idea for a person like me who has much trouble retaining any level of emotional composure without adequate amounts of sleep.

I was napping on the couch this morning and ended up dreaming of my teeth being pulled loose but left in my mouth, it didn't hurt, it was just a sort of strange feeling. It was almost relief. Odd. When I woke up almost too suddenly shortly after, the back door of the house was open, mysteriously. I'm not sure as yet why or who might have been responsible for opening it, or why my dog didn't try to devour them. (Then again, perhaps he did and I just failed to wake up.) Actually, looking around now, I don't even know where my dog is.. strange.

My "ex" called me yesterday, throwing a little bit of his own brand of confusion into my life at quite an inopportune time. I suppose it wasn't so bad, I guess it's nice to know people are thinking of you. He mentioned coming to visit this summer, to which I replied, "That has many implications, consequences if you will, that I'm not so sure I want to deal with." He didn't understand, though I suppose he wouldn't, he seems oblivious sometimes.. oh, little oblivious humans, is anything more peculiar than someone who can't understand why it is that the person whose heart they wounded nearly beyond repair might not want to see them, despite the forgiveness that has occurred. I'm a forgiving person, but I'm not willing to create more emotional damage to forgive him for. Bleh.

I had an everything2 dream the night before last, as well, my first ever I believe. Damian and yossarian, hodgepodge and juliet were in it, all doing very strange things. Juliet was writing and I was watching and I felt awkward because she looked so breath-takingly gorgeous, I felt much like a wilted flower amongst flourishing, over-powering companions. Damian, well who knows what was going on there.. I really can't remember, and yossarian and I were of course devouring mangoes. Podge'y and myself were walking by a lake and I fell in, he was laughing, a duck landed beside me in the water and then I woke up. (I remember asking him why he was wearing the shorts he had on rather than strolling naked, as he had in his home node. He-he.)

I'm hoping that this weekend holds something more than the odd feelings the week leading up to it has..

Sorry for the rambling, I just need to ramble today..