My little heart ached today for things lost and things still left to find, things better left unsaid mixed with things that must find their way from my thoughts to words, and possibly to the rest of the little universe we inhabit. I'm so tired, so tired, a physical exhaustion tainted by emotional frustration that seems only to build up when kept inside, but at least it will spill forth but at once if I hold it for a while longer. I tend not to like it tumbling out slowly, a harsh burst of pain is best when the other choice means only slow, drawn out hurt.

I had a nice day of noding, I think, I spouted off some easily dreamy content mixed with a bit of humor and perhaps a touch of my longing found its way into my words. I like the thought that what I'm feeling often times ends up in my writing, whether I plan it that way or not.. I'm quite fond of my addition to "Whose node is it anyway?".

It is far too cold here in this corner of the world, far too biting and chilly, where is the comforting warmth, heat, that I usually wish away? I've been listening to the Counting Crows muchly today, they seem to have a song for each of my moods, and others that I've not even experienced yet, which happens to be quite dreamy.

The phone woke me this morning from an interesting little dream, though I'd imagine it best not to have such unconcious thoughts. I just want everything to feel more like a dreamy movie starring John Travolta and the love of my life, whomever that might be, the thoughts in my head suggest I might want to examine that issue in depth.

I wrote most of this daylog half asleep and with my eyes closed.. which reminds me of one of my favourite nodes, close your eyes.

"someone should be with me here, 'cause i don't wanna be alone.." - catapult, counting crows