Maybe I'm
dwelling, maybe I'm just lost in a bunch of thoughts that I shouldn't be but I'm pretty
sad tonight, quite sad even. I tried keeping my mind occupied.. it didn't seem to matter, it still doesn't. It's nearly
3am so of course if I want an easy excuse.. I can
attribute it to being tired, at least that way I can just pass it off and stop thinking about it.
I miss people. A lot of people.. I don't mind being
alone, heck I prefer it a lot of the time.. but I'm just tired of the way I hear less and less from the people I really care about.
Ah well..
I noded a bunch of
Cat Stevens lyrics today because I was desperately trying to remain calm, sort of content and his music is so utterly soothing. Someone soft-linked "The Everything Copyright Problem" to it, which is fine, but I mean.. I really doubt Cat Stevens will give a sweet crap. He "never wanted to be a
star", any way. Oh, also someone softlinked some sort of nasty/mean comments to another of my nodes.. normally I wouldn't have cared but it kind of
hurt today because I'm already down, and it was a poetry node. (I don't want
sympathy or anything, not even a
cookie.) I did a little thing about
Tom T. Hall and a bunch of other
stuff. I even slipped in a factual thing about
spray-foam.
Whatever, you know? I'm feeling really lost tonight and just wish that I could pick myself up out of it before I venture off to dreamland.. I always have either really sad or really
depressing dreams when I go to sleep like this. Ho-hum. Perhaps I should read some dreamy nodes from
dreamy little humans..
Speaking of dreamy little humans, I'd like to say
thank you to all of the noder's lately who've been so sweet and kind and made me say "
awwwww" and smile a whole lot. I know I've thanked each of you personally, but I guess I couldn't say it enough.. I'd say you are the reasons I'm not depressed but rather just a bit
sad/
down right now.
I want to go to the
NYC noder gathering but I imagine I'll just have to put a trip there off because my birthday is in
July and I kind of need to save up money for that.. though I do so want to meet
yossarian. Hrmph.
Of all the things that can massively
screw up a life, love has to be the biggest factor in there.. I mean it can be this dreamy
blissful thing or it can just mess with your mind and leave you wondering what on earth you're doing at all. Not that I don't want to be
in love.. I don't know, I just wish it were simpler. (
Love has too much fine print attached to it, I maintain.)
ToasterLeavings has a sore ear.. a ruptured eardrum, poor dreamy little human.
Get well soon, okay toasthead?
Well.. I think I'll wander off to bed shortly after I browse through some hopefully "
uplifting" nodes, like.. "shut the #($)@! up and
stop whining", or "poor, poor you.. oh no, wait,
poor me for having to listen to you". Sorry noder's, I promise I'll be more upbeat tomorrow.. spew some
joyous content in your direction, etc.
See the lyrics to trouble by cat stevens, they go nicely with this node and my thoughts at present, methinks.