I know how I feel but do not think that I could ever possibly put it to mere words, not even if I were able to create them solely for the purpose. What you do to me, the things you've said and.. the way tears of the sweetest sort fall so easily in your presence. The universe is a very nice place to be, today.. this morning I felt so lost, but that seems like such a long time ago now as the afternoon sets in and the sun has slipped in and out from behind white fluffy clouds all day. False evening when it disappears, reliving mornings repeatedly as the clouds drift away.

My little brother's friend is here, and his mother called. I can't figure out exactly why I thought it was the cutest thing in the world, but she gave me this little message to pass onto him:

"Tell Andrew that he has an appointment for a haircut at 4:30, and he needs to go to the bank first to take the money out to pay for it, and that he shouldn't put it off 'til the last minute!"

Adorable, just adorable. I can't get over it, for some reason I think it's just the motherly aspect of it, and she has that concerned parental figure voice down so well. She's a nice lady from what I know, that's probably why I found it terribly endearing. I intend to relay the message shortly with no small amount of mocking "awww, how cuuute" tone in my voice. Actually, Andrew is the only friend my little brother has that seems to have a good personality, and I get along with him quite well.. perhaps I shouldn't patronize him so. What am I talking about? Of course I should! It is my duty.

Even if this mood I've slipped into doesn't last, I'm glad that it managed to envelope my thought'y matter at least for a time. I like this dreamy sense of.. well, I suppose I just feel loved, almost.. adored?

Today, I'm listening to... Nick Drake, and some other soft, quiet, intense stuff. Jump, Little Children.. Cathedrals, I love the way it builds and falls but not so much that you forget the intensity, it reminds me of the way you make me feel.

I've taken to wandering around clutching my hardcover black book filled with beautiful blank pages just waiting to hold my random thoughts. I don't even write in it that often, aside from as I lay in bed, at which time I scrawl content until my eyes hurt too much to stay open any longer, and even then I push just a bit.

I've had bad dreams as of late, the last two nights more specifically, but perhaps they'll pass soon. There has been a lot on my mind, far too much and I don't want to burden anyone with it, so I keep it inside. It pours out in words, but it's hidden to others. I love that you would listen, even though I don't let you.. dreamy leetle human. When I said that I wanted to read something so achingly beautiful that it made me cry, I didn't expect a few lines of text to suffice. It did more than that, so much more. Thank you.

I also love having my umbrella tree resting atop the desk just a few feet from me. It gets enough light there, and it looks so neat, especially with the backdrop of outside tree matter.

I'm smiling.