Good evening and welcome to
the end of my teenage years. Yes, that is correct, you may no longer refer to me as an
angst ridden teen frothing at the mouth with bitter stories of life related woe and how it has rested upon my shoulders and oh, oh.. how it causes my little soul to ache, etc.
Do I gain any credibility now? Most probably I shouldn't, I've changed a lot over the last year but it has little to do with my age at all. Age. What a silly concept, and sillier how all our time here is divided.. silly and wonderful.
I started writing here when I was anything but happy or content for stretches of time in excess of an hour or two. I was younger. I was sheltered and I was in some place I called home, and spent far too much time trying to figure out why it felt
so wrong there. There were different, less real people in my life then, as well. I grew through that, too, and had it not been for that period in my life, I would not be
here.
So I am turning twenty. It's insignificant to me in a lot of ways, I don't feel older, but it still seems like a time to sit and ponder what's gone on this last year or so. I think I'd rather divide life up into categories that correspond with phases. Leetle life phases..
the fly eating phase, the swearing phase, the poking phase, and the dolphin phase wherein I pretend I am a dolphin for extended periods of time, I can't seem to grow out of that one.
We went strolling around
Boston today.. stumbled inadvertantly past some people who caused me once again to question my faith in humanity and remind me why leaving familiarity and trusting yourself to the universe is such a difficult thing for me to do. We walked through the
holocaust memorial and the remaining faith I had slipped away for a while.. We also spent a small bit of time standing near the water's edge in the public gardens, and I fell in love with the little ducklings learning how to dive under water whilst their mother watched from the shore. So sweet and beautiful and innocent and so I guess there is still hope for anything, anyone, humans.. probably.
I don't write here much anymore.. but it meant a lot to a certain point in my life and
there are so many brilliant little minds floating around this place, I read things here that just aren't anywhere else.
So, to the people who've made this year amazing for me.. and to the people who helped me through all of the previous years that brought me here.. I don't have words, so I will simply say..
mo.