the small steps we take when we are afraid. the great leaps we take when the fear becomes a furious sort of courage. it is like tossing ourselves into everything all at once, every dark alley you didn't explore, every person you'd ever wanted to fall for all wrapped into this one last chance to prove yourself as a human. to prove to yourself that you deserve to live, to have lived as far.

it's all rather dramatic, really.


how do we ever know anything? it seems, sometimes, that it is all a matter of convincing yourself that any one thing is reality, truth. that only this one thing is right. the flaws in this particular idea are obvious, eventually there is doubt.

there is always doubt. and oh - it will eat at you. fear will seem like a beautiful sort of relief from the nervous doubt that will creep into you.


dreams. they are all we have. dreams and..


new love, mostly. a blanket. the one thing that can have us feel so intensely and so certainly, if only for a while.


got you on my mind, today. got a lost love and a nervous feelin'. feels like spring. like change. spend so much time waiting for an end, an answer, think you'll hear it in the wind. you just never know.

how it makes you a weapon..