i woke up this morning and knew i'd be this way, withdrawn, irritable controllably so, and i knew that i could live it on my own rather than having most all the people around me aware that i'd even woke up in this place nowhere. i had trouble falling asleep last night.. i told my head to shut up but it was not inclined to do so. it's always the little things.. i wish that always meant something good.

but anyway, everything is floating along nicely hardly praying for sweet death at all. who knows, perhaps things will work out. i am not really optimistic, but i'm not .. not optimistic?

i'm sorry.