it is hard to settle
. it is hard to exist here. i have changed, again, or perhaps i'd already changed and being away just finished the transition off nicely. i am not who i was a year ago, a month ago.. i still don't know who i really am or where exactly i am supposed to be, but at least i know for sure that it is not here.. it is too hard to simply be me, when there is nothing. i am not sad, but my head is not right, i am not so sure as if it will be at any point in the near future.
i am so far away..
am i supposed to be doing something now? where do i walk.. what do i say? does anyone here want to know what i am really thinking? yes, i do, i know the answers to my own questions before they form in tangled thoughts.
i felt so comfortable so many times, i do not get that feeling often.. not often enough. it means a lot.. it means everything
, to me.
close your eyes, i'll cut you inside..
i am here and waiting. i do not want to wait, so much, anymore. it used to feed me
, the waiting and hoping and knowing something new would come along, and of course it will, in time. there is just too much time
, anymore. i wish i could feel one way, strongly.. instead, i simply feel terribly distant.
i am so far away, from here.