i feel so fucking insane if i sit still and i feel even worse rocking back and forth like this, i don't know how i'm going to do this, leave again. it doesn't get easier. nothing changes there, maybe the windows or the floor but everyone is the same and i love them but how did i get so trapped. i wish it dind't just hurt.
my head doesn't click with heads there, and the ones that do seem to are just as bad as mine.
and just look what this does to me, i need something.
i guess it had been quite a while since i had a break down, perhaps it was time again.
sigh.