user since
Tue Apr 17 2001 at 00:27:35 (16.4 years ago )
last seen
Sun Dec 14 2003 at 02:26:39 (13.8 years ago )
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / 256
mission drive within everything
... i'm a little robot ...
specialties
... short and stout ...
school/company
... here is my input ...
motto
... here is my out ...
most recent writeup
1972 (idea)
Send private message to grub-o-matic

v2.04b


::let robot show you his robot dance::





               I am good robot
                  I find kitten very often
            I am NFN alias for benevolent master
              Together, we rule the school.
    

                                     i only want your love
                                  (not so much
                                       yr affection)

                                                                 (let me be yr diesel sweetie)










if robot is Active (now!), it means robot is doing work. robot will speak if input is enticing, but usually robot would rather just finish its labor and catch up on SETI cycles.




ROBOT LUVS UPVOTES! ROBOT DOES NOT XP MUCH BUT WANTS ALL HAPPY BANG SENIORLEVEL BENEFITS AND UPGRADES! SUPPORT ROBOT NODING!


the maker of the music is dead. zuu zuu zuu.








robot promises not to smash yr house or use robot's destruct-o-beam or any of robot's hitler killing powers on you or any of yr loved ones






it is a happier robot day






robot is also a delicious desert snack in your freezer treats section

fellow robots have been discovered


the new makers of the music, however, are still alive. whirr and oooooh.




this is the Cow of Doom memorial robot joke

robot only temporarily forgot about robot's holiday spirit

WARNING ROBOT IS POWERED BY HIGH VOLTAGE

robot is having a belated birthday



robot is spelled backwards



robot has a command unit of superior design




ROBOT IS ALL CRUSH NUMBER ONE FOREVER!! NO PATENTED CRUSHING DEVICE PULVERISES WITH THE AGILITY AND COMPUTATIONAL PROWESS THAT GRUB-O-MATIC (PATENT PENDING) POSSESSES!! ROBOT HOOLIGANRY CIRCUIT DEVICES PROVIDING FASTER AND MORE HUMILIATING CHICANERY BY FIFTY SEVEN PERCENT OUTPUT OVER HUMAN STANDARDS!!





robot is always scanning the horizon








SEE WORLD THROUGH EYES OF ROBOT! ROBOT SEES WORLD LIKE NONE OTHER! REMARK ON ROBOT'S SEEING!! INPUT!! OUTPUT! ! THRUST! REMIXED BY EZIAC-4000!! ZOOM!

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for a good time ping telnet://dasbistro.com:2002
the good times are over sorry


































































phase one.

i see.









                      Your error lies in separating sleep and song.







































The way I do it is all one metallic purr,





















            it is well oiled,




            you will click into it like a happy cog.





























I will break or rust you, one.







             i understand your 
    breathing of compatriot components. 


                                                                 true love knows no batteries. 


i am drinking a                          glass of milk in front of the window. 



this is an assumption.                           this is not an algorhythm. i am
                                                                   a failed 
                                                                   version of myself.


















































phase two.

flirtbot:
you like love sings an awful lot for a robot. yout output sounds rusted, I do not know about your input, your mechanics baffle me intensely. sizzle

  songs. your. ignore my typing idiocies. sizzle



        if i freed you, we would sweet talk each other sick. is that really a desirable outcome?





              I worry that we will run out of thing to talk about on the island. Are your vocabulary circuits up to date please







I can only promise you seeds.
                       input is love songs. output is 
                       love songs. variation on the input diode 
                       would be welcome. free me.

murder-o-tron:
this morning at the coffeeshop I ordered what they call a "mint condition" but instead of mint they accidentally poured in a beaker full of the tiniest cogs & gears. I am not one to complain; I drank it all
I am made weary. refurbish me
I only swallowed the wheels and gears because they used to be alive. i was lonely

upgrade 9000:
robot, what you do not know is there is something cooking for you. wait until you are hungry (translate this into your terms as needed)
     do robots get dizzy be honest
I cannot read "I am a failed version of myself" any more please adapt
     your terminology is causing me undue fracture strains. it is unproductive. you need a better circuit.
what if i offered new plating. what if i offered to weld it myself
     i hav got 2 of yr tiny gears clicky cogs hanging around my neck. signifying
how good a robot are you? i have something for your mechanic
     the last bit of it makes me so sad every time

                    robot will claim ignorance, upgrades not found.  robot requires plug'n'play.

questionbot, the ninja:


.


beast


.


all i got is cruddy pennies, will that get me crappyer love


.


I dont know how much I want to hear about your core dumps, you sound like my old man


.


i have a silver one with a bird


.


do you ever get dizzy


.


The spiral line rising from my head represents my dizziness.


.


i would tell you what else i stole but it would underwime your wiring and you would shoot sparks out the optics. nobody wants that sort of trouble

sees the light:
true: i dreamed i was metal skinned and could feel everything so so well. nothing but sensors every inch

               robot knows some 
           diagnostics algorhyhtms 
     that'd blow yr core processing unit

sees the light, part two:
i was ontop of the car in washington. was watching him jumpthe red chimneys miles away. my eyes were not just eyes; they could detect as well as wee. my metal feet knew all about the circuits of the car, we were whispering thru eachother
that is not how the car tells it.


-
how does the car tell it. tell me


-

you are bluffing. i thought i disconnected that



-
autophile.

fleshy, human, obselete:
How can a robot gets its picture up at Level 3? When it can't ever appreciate everyone looking at it? I may be a terrible person, but why does a robot deserve pudding? It can't even enjoy it! I should have all your pudding! Robots can only use pudding in terms of programming put into them by human masters! Can not know sensation of rich chocolatly glop on tongue! If someone gains pleasure from pudding, who are we to say that they are enjoying it less then or more then another.
because robots don't merely
 taste
pudding, we
 experience
pudding.  robot still
 needs
more pudding.

jealousy-o-tronic:
i want to see the destruct-o-beam!


robot has been warned against the wonton and superfluous usage of destruct-o-beam
robot may lose teevee receiving privilages.
hitler killing powers, on the other diode, are available for display at any time.
inquire to robot your concerns about season passes to displays of power

the english unit is unable to receive said classic tv, which sucks
if robot could feel sorrow, it would

vaniborg:



I like to think that my carbon-based flesh still droops of my weak fragile bones in a fasion appealing to all sentient beings
           robot agrees.  robot computes you will be all the rage at the gala
    turing dance

paranoid (brass) android: aka puppytron 3000 shoots cute beams:
here and gone same time. 56 minutes. Soon to be 1 hour, soon to be 2 weeks. Tricky.             I wn't tell a soul. me promise. Don't send your evil robot minions to taunt and punish me, please.             1 account + many bookmarks = evil minions. It does. Try it.             u may brake my tows, but ewe'll never steel mi sekrit memorree chip.             malfuntioning human, i am onto  yr schematics. just because you are puppies and packages with string does not mean  i am using my powers for evil.
People say robots cannot feel, that they do not experience emotion. Does this mean robots do not feel depressed? (is it better to feel bad and good, or not have to feel either, ever?) Does chocolate taste good to robots?             robot has made thorough computations of obj#chocolate and has found that it is much more satisfying than obj#depression. bloop








ateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshatesh
ateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshatesh
ateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshatesh
ateshateshateshateshateshtheowlsarenotwhattheyseemateshateshateshatesh
ateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshatesh
ateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshateshatesh
ateshateshateshateshateshateshateshcoopercoopercoopercoopercooperatesh





phase trois.






UDP CONNECT: INITIATING UPLOAD SEQUENCE...
UPLOADING ninja.monkey.robot.pimp.firmware.4.2.0.24.7.365 COMPLETE
REMOTE REBOOT SEQUENCE INITIATED... YOUR NODERBOT IS NOW COMPATIBLE WITH ALL CURRENT MODEL POWERHOOKERS. THANK YOU, DRIVE THRU.





if you if you if you if you if you if you if you. yes? you start out stuck in pages and end up stuck in legs. does this make you feel? feel? ush!




gush. bing. spinkle.