How to dance like a high school student
1. The "Hands-Off"
(a) Place one hand on your date's shoulder or waist, depending on your gender.
(b) Clasp your other hand loosely in your date's.
(c) Now see how far you can get from your date while still dancing. Ideally, you will end up in different rooms. Make sure to avoid eye contact, which can result in pregnancy.
2. The "Vertical Sex"
(a) Embrace your date, making sure to take immediate hold of whatever body part is closest--shoulders, hips, and buttocks work best.
(b) Frantically bounce and writhe in time to the music, making sure to keep a firm hold on your date. Shouting along to the song in your date's ear is a plus.
3. The "No-date"
(a) Walk awkwardly around the edges of the dance floor, looking at the ceiling.
(b) Inspect the posters for last week's cheer leading tryouts on the walls of the gym.
(c) Garner a pity-dance from one of your friends, which will most likely be of the awkward "Hands-Off" variety.
(d) Optional if you're drunk: throw yourself on the dance floor and try to break dance, soiling your best shirt with spilled Coke and dirt and hitting your head on an amp as your friends guffaw and take pictures to post on Facebook.