Today... *Sigh*... I discovered that one of my biggest fears is being loved. I don't know why, but I realised tonight that when I am interested in a certain person, and he starts showing interest towards me, I back off; get totally scared, and find myself making up excuses to myself; reasons why that person is not right for me.
I was out tonight with someone I have very strong feelings for, and he was showing a lot of interest in me, and it scared me. I didn't know what to say to him, I found myself looking for people that I knew, so I had a reason to leave our table for a few minutes. Maybe I am just shy, maybe it is more. Who knows... *Sigh*.
I made a lot of mistakes tonight that I am busy regretting right now as I am typing this, just looking back on our evening, aarrrgh! If only there were something one could take, something to make it all okay when you're seeing someone that you truly like. Goodness me, maybe im just a hopeless case, but then again, who really knows.
I also realised today that true friends are the most important people, and just how hard it is to find a true, true friend. I was out with this girl I know, and she is so genuine, really keen on helping out when someone is down, or upset about something. She is never in it for anything more than a little support, and friendship back. Those are the kind of people we need this world to be filled with.
I hope I didn't mess up too badly tonight.