It's like everything you made happen for yourself in February folded itself over into nothing. In the last two days there it all just sort of trashed itself to hell and now you've got nothing again. You have to start over. And what's more, you have to throw some serious punches early to try and get back to a place that was familiar to you a couple weeks ago. Serious impact shit - things you wouldn't imagine having the testicular fortitude to do this time last year when you were still so busy learning so much about yourself. Taking calculated risks early and then letting everything else be in the aftermath of what you did. That's the only way to be.

Well, here I am.

I asked her. Finally. I didn't get a real answer; I didn't expect a real one, much less a final one. She looked nervous. And cold. But that's not what bothered me. It's that she looked guilty. Secretly, that terrifies me. But I can't let her see even a little bit of that. She's certainly not just another one, but at the same time you know she can be as vicious as any other vulture in this goddamn cannibal parade town. Keep yourself strong. Keep it frontal. You're not used to being the aggressive one, but you have to be. And let her know she's just gotta spend some time. She's gotta spend some time with you.

I know if she'd just listen I could change her mind.

A Game of patience.