This isn't a silly node about suicide, just a thought or two about my general worthiness in life.

I'm 5'9", and nothing special to look at. I work as a web developer, which isn't famed for being a taxing or particularly good job. I'm also a student, doing a pretty simple implementation of a Computer Science degree and an average university in a northern dull town.

I'm probably not the world's best lover, nor the world's best conversationalist, nor the world's best socializer, or will be the world's best father. I'm just an average chap, and that kinda scares me.

While I don't believe in fate, sometimes I can't help thinking that I must be here for a reason, whichkinda leaves me confused. If I am, then what is it?

It reminds me of the Culture novel Use of Weapons, where Cheradenine Zakalwe is sitting at a table having a drink in a GSV. A man comes up and wipes his table, which surprises Zakalwe, as The Culture is a hedonisic utopian society where no-one is made to do anything and wiping tables isn't everyone's idea of a good time.
The man goes on to explain that his main job is to help interpret religeous scrolls and artifacts, but he wipes tables so he can see the smile in their faces, and can tell that he has made a difference to their day.

Now I wish that I could see smiles on people's faces when I node...