OK Wilson.....
I am angry again at same woman who inflicted snack-seeking on me.
Little Miss Baby: (comes in with sheet of paper) I need to leave this for John.
Gruner: Okay.
B: (picks up notepad, rips off MY note without asking, rips off blank sheet for herself) Can I have a pen?
G: (hand her pen)
B: (writes note and hands me pen, then hands me paper) There you go.
G: (promptly get up and walk ten feet to John’s office and deposit paper on his chair)
B: (following me) I could have done that myself but I didn’t know that was all you were going to do.
G: (grunt in reply and begin writing angry email)
WHY? WHY? Can she not write notes at her own desk? Can she not simply do things herself? What special and mysterious administrative ritual must she imagine I follow just to leave something for someone? Why must I be interrupted and disturbed for this kind of triviality? I tell you Wilson, this is NOT the first time, nor the fifty-first time, such an incident has occurred with her. Every single time, I do my best to model better behavior for her. She appears to take note, and yet I swear to you that before the week is out she will come into my 5’ x 6’ cubicle and block me from access to my computer while she uses my phone to check her voice mail (again). Should I kill her?
Gruner
OK Gruner-
Yes. You should kill snack-treat woman. Clearly she thinks you are her personal secretary. She was clearly expecting you to type up the message for John and then deliver it or send it by email. Something. Why? Is that the common mode of message delivery at your office? She must be taught a lesson.
I have a Dilbert book that gives very good tips for pranks on office-mates. I particularly like the one where you start rumor of seeing rat/mouse in office. Then you put those little chocolate sprinkles on desk of person you hate, as they look just like mouse turds. (Make sure they are next to gnawed looking paper or something.) Then you place a fake, furry mouse under the receiver of the phone so that it is fairly well hidden. All that is left is to wait for victim to enter office/cubicle and call them on phone. Will be great fun. Think you should try it. Short of that, try to give out ice-queen/hostile vibes like I do. People will stop talking to you at all. It also helps to have a vicious terrier residing under your desk that barks and growls when anyone gets near. I now have my manager handing me messages and attempting conversations from the other room!
Over and Out
Wilson